Smoker Conducts Press Conference
11/14/2002 12:00:00 AM | Football
Nov. 14, 2002
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Jeff Smoker Transcript
"Good afternoon. This isn't something that I've looked forward to, but I realize it's something that has to be done. First and foremost, I would like to apologize. I would like to apologize to my teammates, friends, family, coaches, fans, young kids, and everyone that has been affected by this. I understand I not only affected myself but many other people.
"I do realize I am a public figure. I realize that when I'm outside this building, I need to conduct myself in a manner that I haven't been doing. I feel comfortable with where my life is now and where my life is headed. Sometime down the road in my recovery when I have more confidence, I would like to do some outreach just to make young kids and people aware that the decisions you make do affect your life.
"I felt very privileged that I was a member of the Michigan State football team. I've realized that it's a privilege to play for the Michigan State Spartans, not a right, and I might have taken advantage of that sometimes.
"I am glad to be back. I'm back in the classroom. I want to thank all the faculty, staff and professors who have been very supportive and very understanding throughout this whole situation. Being away, I had some time to think about my life and my education, and I realized that football can be a temporary thing, and it can be taken away from you very quickly. I realized that I have to take the classroom and my education more seriously than I have been. Finally, I realize there will be a lot of changes in the upcoming months in the program. I plan on returning next season, but I know there will a new coach coming in and it will be his decision on whether I return to the team or not. I just want to say that I will do whatever it takes to become a Spartan again."
On the substance problem and when it started:
"It wasn't just one substance. I don't think the specific substance is the issue. What I learned in my treatment is that there are a lot of substances that are equally addictive and that they all affect you in the same way. It was a gradual problem and it started taking a toll in my life earlier this fall."
On how and why the problem got started:
"It obviously started with some bad decisions on my part. I ask myself why every day. I wish I knew why. Right now, I'm trying to look at this as positively as I can. I realize this is a turning point in my life and I'm glad this happened now instead of later."
On who initiated the process to seek help:
"I did. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do in my life. It was something in my life that I lost control of. I asked for help and I talked to Coach (Bobby) Williams about it and he responded quickly."
On the treatment process:
"I am in intensive patient treatment. I will be continuing treatment for the next few months, if not the entire year."
On coming back to the team:
"I realize everyone has an opinion. I would just like to say that this is something I came out with on my own. Some people don't think others deserve a second chance, but I believe that they do. If not, I'll make the most of it, but I'm going to do whatever it takes to get a second chance."
On his suspension:
"The specific infraction was my confession to Coach Williams. I told him what I'd been doing and what had been going on in my life. I told him that I needed help. He said that he would have to suspend me, but that he would find help for me."
On if the pressure of football contributed:
"I don't know. I always thought that I handled the pressure well as a quarterback growing up. It's something that I have always tried to handle as well as I could. I don't want to make excuses for my problems and say that that was the reason. Whether it was or not, I'm not going to do that."
On the drug testing policy:
"I've never failed a drug test here. They're pretty intense and random. I've never tested positive. I've never had a drug test for a job or any other work except to play here."
On the reason he sought help:
"Well, I think it was just that I finally realized how much it affected my life. Not only my play on the football field, but it was affecting everything else. My relationships. My schoolwork. My personality. I was becoming someone different. Like I said, it was one of the hardest things to realize what was really happening, but it was something that I had to do."
On what has happened:
"This has been like a turning point in my life. I'm going to take this situation that has happened and learn from it. I'm going to move on. I'm going to put this behind me. I'm not proud of the decisions I've made in the past, but I am going to hold my head high."
On the rumors regarding his problems:
"I try to avoid that as much as I can, especially the whole web site thing. Yeah, it was hard to avoid them completely because there were so many rumors and some of them were so wild. Some of them were very, very hurtful. I can't address any of the rumors, specifically. I don't know all the different ones that are out there."
On whether he ever performed under the influence:
"No. I never, ever performed under the influence in practice or in a game. I'm too much of a competitor to ever let anything like that get in the way of my performance. But, I think that maybe what I was going through away from the field played some part."
On the treatment process:
"I've learned a lot of different things about myself. One of the biggest things we've talked about in treatment is realizing that you have a problem and admitting it and the humility you have to have to do it. That is one of the hardest things to do when you think you have control. The hardest thing to do was admit that I had a problem and realize that it wasn't something I was able to do on my own. I wasn't even in control of my own life and I knew that I had to seek help. Right now, I need to take things one day at a time. They teach you that you wake up in the morning and say your prayers and take what challenges you have for that day and work on it. The treatment was great. I heard a lot of stories from a lot of interesting people. Some people had some pretty low bottoms compared to what I have. I don't know if there was a specific time, like I said before it was a gradual thing. The way things were going it just came to a time where I broke down and said I need to make some changes in my life."
On Bobby Williams' firing:
"I feel like there are a lot of people on the team and a lot of people on the staff that feel responsible for that. Yes, I am one of them. I am one of those people that feel responsible. I feel really bad for what happened to Coach Williams and I feel partly responsible for it."
On his emotions at the height of his abuse:
"Well, I would say that it was a roller coaster. It was a roller coaster of emotions. First it was a social thing and then I started to use the substances to handle my problems and then my emotions. It started to numb me. I realize now since I've been clean for so long that life is so much different. I feel so much better about myself."
On the rumors that the addiction led to other things:
"I never gambled. I'm not a gambler and I would never gamble on a game. I respect the game of football too much to do that. I would never do that sort of thing. Like I said, my addiction was personal. It was never a distribution type of thing or trying to make money. It was always personal."
Team Physician Dr. Randy Pearson Transcript
On the drug testing policy:
"It is a comprehensive testing and education policy designed to help the athletes if they have difficulties. As Jeff said, we do random testing throughout the year and we also do probable-cause testing. All of it is designed to get athletes help before it becomes a problem. Through our testing program, we can either catch the athletes who have a difficulty or tighten the noose, so to speak, to a point where an athlete will seek help on his own."
Michigan State Interim Head Coach Morris Watts:
"I'm proud of the way Jeff Smoker stepped forward today and openly discussed his personal struggle. Jeff admitted the mistakes he's made and he's willing to pay the price. I like the fact that he wants to help youngsters in the community, so they don't make wrong choices. I have no doubt that he'll make good on his word because he's a good person. I wish him the best of luck and I hope it works out for him to be able to return to the football field."
Michigan State junior fullback Mark Goebel:
"I'm really proud of him. It took a lot of courage for him to do what he did in front of the cameras and reporters, but he's a tough kid.
"Everyone is supportive of Jeff. Nobody's mad at him. Jeff stopped by practice today and everybody was excited to see him. Everybody's glad that he's back on campus and we look forward to the time when he rejoins the football team."
Michigan State sophomore offensive guard William Whitticker:
"Jeff Smoker did the right thing by admitting his mistakes. Jeff is facing a personal struggle and his teammates hope he fully recovers. We're behind him 100 percent and we'll encourage him along the long road to recovery. We hope and pray that he can continue his playing career. We're going to rally around him and help him however we can, so he can become a better man."
